


way back home

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Developing Friendships, Eventual Relationships, Flashbacks, Homophobia, Ice Skating, M/M, Other, figure skating AU, im probably forgetting some but, oh well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-08-18 14:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8165053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lukas Bondevik is a 26 year old man who has been working for a professional company since he was 15, and Matthias Kohler is 27, and a new member of Lukas's group. After their first encounter, Lukas feels a bit put off about Matthias, but he wants to try befriending him.Until they're paired up for a duet a few weeks after Matthias starts working due to the public's request. (extremely slow updates)





	1. beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> ah yes this is the first time i've written an actual hetalia fic so it's probably ooc. haha.
> 
> yes i am aware that these kind of groups do not exist (u know where there are figure skaters and ballet dancers and hiphop dancers, etc.) but if they do u should tell me about them. 
> 
> not much happens in this chapter because it's just... getting to know why and how they're where they are in the next chapters and all that. the action will occur in the next chapter

Matthias stepped through the door of the blue building, smiling to himself. He had recently moved to Norway due to his new job as a figure skater. There was professional rink, which was where he would work. He felt confident with himself, knowing that you had to be good to be put on the team.

Though he knew limited Norwegian, he heard from his boss, Kiku, that everyone knew English. The team was composed of Lukas Bondevik, Antonio Carriedo, Lovino Vargas, Yao Wang, Ivan Braginski, Erika Vogel, and Raivis Galante.

The fact that all of them had been in the program for a few years intimidated Matthias. He'd heard that there was a dance team in the company as well, but he'd never done much research. Matthias deemed it useless since he wasn't joining that segment.

So he started walking towards what he believed was the locker room, passing the ice that was shining ever so brightly thanks to the fluorescent lights. It was only 6:00 PM, two hours until the rink closed. Well, not really closed, because Kiku had emailed him saying that some people stayed until midnight practicing. He passed the bleachers, which were there for no reason. _Seriously, why did they put them there? For breaks? Isn't it a practice rink?_

Finally, he reached the locker room and searched for the locker numbered #23. They were lined against the plain white walls, standing in all of their light blue glory. He didn't have to search long since there were only forty lockers in the room. There were also benches next to the lockers, and Matthias's first thought was, _why can't they just put benches out there, too?_

He set his sports bag onto the cool wooden bench anyway and unzipped it. There were two pairs of skates, a black pair with red designs, and a plain white pair in case something happened. Just as he was pulling out the black pair, he heard the door open and jumped lightly. He sighed as he realized it was just another man and not some scary looking troll from old stories. However, the man was incredibly attractive. He had short, blonde hair, beautiful dark blue eyes, and he was only slightly shorter than the Danish man. He then turned his back to the man, trying not to stare. Matthias was glad he didn't, though, because he didn't think he could handle those intense eyes staring back at him.

"You must be the new recruit, right? Matthias Köhler?"

  
Matthias turned away from his locker and crossed his arms, trying to maintain a natural look. "Yes, I am. Is something wrong?"

  
The so far nameless man looked down and sighed. "Nothing's wrong, I just heard about you. You look different than I expected," he said, stepping over to Matthias and looking up.

In a polite manner, the shorter man lifted his hand, gesturing for Matthias to shake it. So he did.

"My name is Lukas Bondevik and I've worked here for eight years, and you?"

Matthias stuttered a little bit, feeling a bit nervous for some reason. "I'm Matthias Kohler, and as you know I'm fairly new," he said, grabbing onto Lukas's hand and shaking it.  
There was a look on Lukas's face that seemed like a mix of uncertainty and nerve. Like he felt he had a challenge. Silently, Lukas released his hand from Matthias's own. He turned his back towards the taller man and placed his hands behind his back.

"It was good meeting you," he said, looking back at Matthias one more time. "Hopefully we'll become aquainted."

Matthias sighed as soon as Lukas entered through the door to the showers. He didn't see him practicing, so he was clueless as to why he needed to shower.

Matthias sat on the benches for the next 30 minutes, waiting for Lukas to come into the locker room again. With nothing to do, he opened his sports bag and pulled out his phone. He saw a notification from his news application which read " _Vietnam Woman Cuts Off Limbs for Insurance Payout_ ," then started laughing. seriously, what kind of person does that? He looked up and saw the door to the showers open again, but this time Lukas came out in only a towel. Almost as quickly as he looked up, he looked down, pretending to pay attention to his phone.

"Don't act like you're paying attention to your phone. You're a terrible liar," Lukas said, the corners of his lips quirking up into what seemed to be a smile. It was cute. Matthias laughed quietly and placed a hand on his face.

"Alright," he said. "I won't lie to anyone. You're really attractive, Lukas. I think that's the best of it."

With that, Lukas looked away. "Anyway, I'll be getting changed. You can go somewhere else if you want," he said. 

"I don't really want to go, but if you want me to, okay."

  
The sudden meeting with Lukas changed Matthias, and for some reason he was nervous. When he'd first entered the building he felt nothing but pride. After his encounter with Lukas, though, he felt little. Like all he'd worked for was for nothing, like he was going to be obliterated by the only other solo figure skater. Even with that, Matthias couldn't help but feel excitement coarse through his veins. 

A little smile was visible on Matthias's face as he walked out of the locker room. Even if the Norwegian guy was kind of intimidating, he still hoped to become friends. Lukas was blunt, attractive, and he seemed to have a fighting spirit.

Matthias decided to pay attention to where he was walking, and saw a tall guy with blonde hair styled similiar to his own. He had blue eyes and he seemed excited. Maybe it was just his face. _hey, this is the leader of the ballet district, right? he asked himself in his head._

There Kiku was right next to him, and he seemed tiny next to the blonde guy. "Hello, Matthias," Kiku nearly whispered in his accent. Kiku had a naturally quiet voice, whether he was speaking English, Norwegian, or his mother language, Japanese. "Have you met any of your team yet?"

"Yes, I actually just met Lukas! Is this guy on our team?" Matthias pointed at the man perched next to Kiku. They both laughed. 

"No, he's the ballet instructor. We were just discussing something when we bumped into you," said Kiku.

He was acting weird. When he'd first met the man, he was quiet and reserved, but now he was talking more than usual. Perhaps something's going on between those two?

"Anyway, this is Alfred; you've never met him."

  
The tall blonde guy laughed lightly. Alfred looked weird at first, but when he laughed, he didn't look weird at all! How did that work? Was that how Lukas worked, too? Was this how all other people worked? _damn it, this is confusing!_

Matthias laughed too, nodding his head. "I haven't, thank you for introducing us." Almost too soon, he announced he had to go home. Alfred and Kiku had said their goodbyes, walking away without a word. Maybe they talked once they saw Matthias was out of hearing distance, but he couldn't know. He didn't hear them.

  
pov switch/ kiku and alfred

As soon as Kiku was able to tell that Matthias wasn't able to hear, he started talking to the ballet instructor. "So, how are your kids doing?" he asked. Calling the team his kids made him feel older than he actually was, but he had been calling them that since he held the leadership of one of the segments. That was when he was 26 and someone named Francis led the ballet team. Now, he was 31 and Alfred, 30, started a year or two ago. 

"They're doing good. Emil and Leon are having a hard time practicing for their performance, but they'll learn. Hey, when you were younger," Alfred paused to see if Kiku seemed offended, "weren't you in both ballet and figure skating for a few years?"

"Yes, I was, before I took leadership. Were you not there most of the time?"

Yes, he was there most of the time. He just wanted to hear Kiku's quiet voice, not scolding him, but informing him. Kiku didn't scold anybody. When someone broke a precious item by accident, he comforted and informed. When someone hurt Kiku, he apologized, and then he calmly explained why it was wrong. It was rare to find people like Kiku, and Alfred felt like the luckiest man in the world.

"Yeah, I was. I just needed to double check," Alfred said. There was no actual reason as to why he asked, only to flatter Kiku and make sure he was aware of his talents. An admirable person, Kiku was. He was quiet, but spoke up when his beliefs were questioned. A noble spirit posessed the man from a young age, a rare one. He was caring, peaceful, yet carried a loud presence wherever he went, as if he was expressing the fact that even if he was quiet, his mind was deafening. Kiku was also talented with his mind, a born artist. He still choreographed performances and designed costumes for his team and even performed himself, even if he was older than many other competitors. Alfred didn't understand how he got someone as amazing as Kiku to marry him, but damn, he wouldn't change it for the world.

 

It was around 9 PM when Kiku and Alfred parted from their respective teams. The only reason they left an hour after closing was because Alfred had to instruct Gupta and Sadik not to do anything they weren't supposed to, only because they had a history of things like that. ( _An example; a week ago when they decided it'd be fine to stay at the practice room until 5 AM doing nothing but fucking like rabbits. A not so pleasant visual, Alfred had discovered that morning.)_

They also had to make sure that their offices looked at least decent in case of surprise visits from the CEOs or family looking to give gifts to their children or siblings in the program.

"Do you want to walk or drive back home?" Kiku asked, waiting for a response from his husband. In the process, he grabbed onto Alfred's larger hand and held tightly.

"Walk? It's nice out."

"Hm... Okay."

"Is something the matter?"

"No, but you will carry me if I ask?"

There was no need to respond since it was something they did commonly. Of course, Alfred would always do it until he grew old and weak. 

Normally, It only took them fifteen to twenty minutes to arrive at their house. However, Kiku loved the walk since they always followed a route with a little dirt road but no passing cars, which usually took forty-five minutes to an hour to walk. There were small, colorful patches of flowers that Kiku thought someone placed a while back, before Alfred discovered it. 

A few minutes back, they halted on the path, and then Alfred pulled Kiku past a tree and into the grass and sat on the ground. He gestured for Kiku to sit with him. Unaware of the stunt he was going to pull, Kiku obliged. He kept his body close to Alfred's own as he stared at his surroundings. There were trees dotting the landscape, but you were able to see a hill in the distance if you looked hard enough, a small, clear pond nearby which was enclosed by wet plants like cattails and lilies. Then there were the flowers that were always there. They weren't important, but they were. There was something calming about watching those diverse colors mixing together in perfect harmony.

Kiku gasped when Alfred wrapped one arm around his shoulder and placed a hand on his face and held him tightly, as if they would have to part ways if he let go. Without a word, Alfred chastely kissed Kiku, laughing after he pulled away. 

"Wait, can this wait until we're home?"  
Even though it was phrased as one, it was not a question. It was more of a gentle command. Kiku only worded his commands as questions so he could be polite, so he didn't feel he was pushing anyone out of their comfort zone. 

  
"Yes, it can."

  
pov switch, lukas Bondevik 

  
It was 9:36 PM, an hour since Lukas had gotten off of the subway and walked to his apartment. He was sitting at his desk, reading some book that was in English. The good outcome of his father forcing him to learn Danish, English, Icelandic, and Japanese- more options. There was the ability to communicate with people of different backgrounds, but he didn't do that much. It would look good on a college application, but that wasn't in Lukas's future. He used his ability to simply read and write since he only really talked with Kiku, Tino, Berwald, Mr. Alfred, and Emil, and sometimes the ballet trainees. In Lukas's mind, learning all of these languages had been a waste of time. He shut his book and rested his head on the desk, thinking to himself about the most important week in his life.

  
_Lukas sits with his parents, a lowly feeling that's settling in his stomach. He knows. He knows how they both feel about his type of people. He knows how they're going to react, so he has a bag packed with things he'd need - a phone, a charger, earbuds, clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, earnings from the past few years, his own pair of ice skates. They're a wildly expensive pair, white with silver flowers and diamonds pasted on, and new blades on the bottoms. If he needed a place to retreat, he could go back to his professional skating rink, a loving place with good and lovely people. He doubts he'd have to do that, though. Tino was waiting at his home, waiting for a notification from Lukas on what happened. Emil is staring at him as he already knows what he's announcing. In fact, he plans to go away with him, too. Lukas and Emil are the same, yet different. Both are stubborn, but different souls and different beings, but they share the same type of love. They do not crave the gentle touch of a woman, do not desire the soft curves of a girl, as their parents would most likely prefer, but they could not bring themselves to have that preference._

_"To put it simply, I'm gay," Lukas nearly whispers, lowering his eyes as he watches the calm stares in his parents eyes form into looks of disgust._

_Still, he continues. He has to, for Emil and himself. "Emil is, too. Before you say anything, we've tried changing ourselves. It's been hard to accept who we are, but we can not help but be this way. I hope you understand."_

  
_They did not understand. They had yelled at Lukas and Emil, telling them how it was not normal, how they could change, how they wanted them out of the house. Lukas had to mask his emotions in front of his little brother, but if he was honest, he knew that was how it would go. He prepared himself the night before for the onslaught of emotions he'd face the next day, but surprisingly, he felt free. Like he could do anything._

_Emil looked like he was still processing what happened. There was a blank look in his eyes, and Lukas suddenly felt a wave of emotion well up inside of him, not for his parents, but his little brother._

_Emil was only 15 years old, and he was kicked out of the house by his parents. Nearly two years ago, he had been celebrating his thirteenth birthday, an innocent boy who had never felt true pain, but now, he did know what it was._

_Pain was never a scrape on the knee or a broken leg; pain was the feeling of abandonment. Even if Emil had never felt a special connection to his parents, it still hurt him._

_"It's not normal," Emil said, kicking a chair on the porch. Lukas watched it fly into the grass in the yard, and he could not care any less about the broken legs on the expensive wooden chair. "The fact that they kicked us out just because of who we are is not normal. I'll be proud of who I am, all out of spite. One day we'll be so famous that they can't round a corner without hearing our names."_

_Lukas had thought Emil was going to say that loving men was not normal, that he was going to try harder to like women, but he was surprised. Those were some of the most important words he'd ever heard in his 18 years of life heard from a boy three years younger than him, and even if he knew he'd hear important things later in life, those were still the most important. Lukas never forgot how his little brother lived his life out of spite. If someone told him he couldn't figure skate, he would do it perfectly, even if he was better with dancing. If someone told him he couldn't become successful, you bet your shit he would do it._

_A few days later after they settled down in Tino's home, Lukas took Emil to where he trained. He talked to the bosses beforehand, informing them that they would have a new trainee. The instructors at the time, Francois and Arthur, had asked if Emil was figure skating like his brother, but Lukas had answered for him, knowing Emil would be overwhelmed in this situation. "Ballet and figure skating," he'd said quickly._

_"Come with me then, **mon cher** ," Francois had announced, spinning around, his blue button-up riding up and exposing his well built body. "Please, fix your shirt, you idiot. Nobody wants to see that," Arthur said to Francois, and even if he used insulting language, anyone could see he loved the Frenchman with how he looked at him. _

_Arthur left Francois with the young boys, telling Lukas and Emil, "good luck." As the three walked to Francois's office, the oldest man was starting conversation. One thing Lukas forgot to tell the man was that Emil wasn't great at communicating with others. Lukas was trailing behind a little bit, so he did something that was like jogging and walking to catch up to his brother. Silently, he looked down to the pouting face of his brother with a concerned look on his face. do you want to do this? Lukas seemed to be asking. The face of fear on Emil seemed to fade, replaced with a rare smile, one that Lukas wished he could see every day. Without any words, Emil nodded at his brother._

_Quickly, they arrived in Francois's office, which had looked quite elegant. It had dark blue walls and there was a little board with papers stapled together onto it, well organized. There were paintings on the walls that Emil couldn't stop staring at. If working here meant seeing such a clean place every day, Emil couldn't wait, but he didn't even know if he'd be accepted._

  
_Francois had tested Emil's knowledge on ballet, even if it wouldn't affect his chances of getting in, and he did fantastic. He knew history well, and he knew the moves' proper names, and Francois was highly impressed. All that was left was to inspect his actual dancing, skating abilities, and to get a drug test, but he was fifteen, so Francois didn't think he'd need it._

_The next four days were filled with Berwald coming to Tino's from his home, Tino encouraging Emil saying he'd definitely get in, Lukas having to calm down his brother, and Emil barely eating and sleeping. This tended to happen a lot with Emil. Whenever he was nervous or doubtful of himself, he couldn't sleep or eat much._

_When everyone was asleep, Lukas on the couch, Berwald sleeping with Tino in one bed, Emil silently opened the door to his room and walked out. He had done that a lot these past few days. The mail slot in the the door hadn't made its normal creaking noise that it does when something comes in, so maybe it was useless to check. Did that stop Emil? Not at all._

_Emil was thankful for the socks on his feet, otherwise his feet would be sticking to the floor and making noise, and that was just not necessary. As he got closer to the door, he noticed an envelope with their address written on the front. He bent over, tucking his hair behind his ear and picking up the envelope._

**_Dear Emil and his family,_ **

_Family? Had Lukas not told them about what happened with their parents? Maybe he told them that Tino and Berwald were his parents. That would not be the most believable thing, though. After the haze of the past few days, Emil had nearly forgotten about what his parents had done, how he was doing this out of spite at first, but now it was more than that. He kept reading._

_**we have done an evaluation on your skills and health condition** ,_

_Blah blah blah. Emil skipped over most of the letter because it was mostly just about how they got results, but he didn't need his results. What Emil needed was to see if he passed._

**_Emil, congratulations! You have been accepted into Daily Winter. We have decided that you have the skills to compete professionally, and though usually the decision usually takes a few weeks, you only needed four days! You have great physical health, though your mental health is a different story. You're a skilled young man!_ **

_How the hell did they know about his mental health? Did Lukas tell them about that? That didn't matter, though; Emil didn't even read anything after that, he didn't even try to conceal his excitement like he usually did. An embarrassing little squeak left his lips. Shit, hopefully nobody heard that. They're still asleep._

_They were not all still asleep, because Emil turned around and Berwald's blank face was staring down at him._  
_"What are you doing, sitting in the mail?"_

_Emil didn't even noticed he was crouching in all the papers. His socks were rubbing against the documents, and Emil didn't even feel bad. He'd just gotten into a professional company, and he was only fifteen! "Look, Berwald! I got in!"_

_There was a humorous look on the tall man's face, his eyebrows were furrowed, his hair was a mess, the only thing he was wearing was a robe, and he didn't have his glasses on. Berwald always looked funny without glasses on, but behind the funny look was a kind man. This time, instead of an embarrassing screech, it was a little hum that tickled his lips._

_"Why is little Emil being loud?"_

  
_The voice belonged to Tino, and usually, he would say "shut up, it's nothing," but this time is different. He was going to ruin his parents' lives, he was going to be as well known in Norway as Elvis was over in America._

_"He's saying something about 'getting in'," sighed Berwald, who seemed genuinely curious._

_"Berwald didn't know? Why didn't you tell him, Emil?"_

_The truth was, he didn't want to be teased by the really masculine guy. Though Berwald never specified what he worked as, Emil guessed a lumberjack. Did the Swedish have lumberjacks, or was that just Canadians? **I'm stereotyping, that's not good**._

_"Tell me what?"_

_Tino laughed. "He signed up for a company called Daily Winter, a professional company. Though, the only thing they really do that involves winter is figure skating, but maybe it's because they have all their shows in the winter. They have dancing subgroups too, and Emil got into two subgroups! Aren't you proud of him, Berwald?" By now, Tino was jumping up and down and clapping his hands. Emil was not convinced that this man was twenty years old, going on twenty-one._

_The Finnish man was a good spirit, but if Emil could change one thing about him, he'd make him talk less._  
_Other than that, he was good._

_"Yes, I'm very proud of you, Emil." It came from Berwald, the tall Swedish guy that Emil thought would tease him. "Thank you," is all the Emil responds._

_The last person to wake is Lukas, the second youngest in the house. Emil jumped as he heard the faux leather of the couch groan._

_There Lukas was, hair messy, shirt partly unbuttoned, red eyes, and dark circles around them. It looked as if he was crying, or at least cried himself to sleep. It had been a while since anyone had seen him cry, so nobody could tell, except maybe Emil._

_"Are you well?" Tino asked, walking away from Emil and over to Lukas. A lovely thing about the Finnish man, he was caring, even with people he barely knew._

_"Yeah, I'm fine."_

_The truth was, Lukas had cried the night before. He hadn't allowed himself to react to anything a few days ago, when his mother and father kicked him out. When he left the house, he thought he just didn't feel bad about it, but he was just packing his feelings inside without even being aware._

_"Whatever you say, I guess." It was from Emil, but Lukas figured that it was easiest for him to see he wasn't in his best condition._

_"Anyway, let's not focus on me. So what's up with you, Emil?"_

_"I got in."_

_"Are you serious? You're joking, right?" There was a spark in Lukas's eyes that made Emil feel good about himself; the fact that he accomplished the impossible and made Lukas proud was heart-wrenching, but in a good way._

_"Hell yeah, I'm serious."_

_Lukas blinked quickly, and then stood up with open arms. It was silent, and Tino and Berwald left and retreated to their room to give Emil and Lukas some privacy. After a few seconds, the younger boy finally got the clue and walked to his brother._

_Usually he would sigh when his brother was affectionate with him, but this was an emotional moment and Emil needed it. He still couldn't believe it. At fifteen years, he was kicked out of the house with his older brother. At fifteen years, he was accepted into a good company that would make him famous. Eventually, he would ruin his family's lives._

_"Holy shit... I can't believe this, Emil," whispered Lukas. In a common case, those would be words of uncertainty and fear but now was not a common case. Those were words of pride._

  
POV switch // Kiku Honda

With a little sigh, Kiku sat upright in his bed. His phone was ringing, signifying that he got a call from his Korean half-brother, Yong Soo. The tall man had called saying he had big news, but knowing him, it was probably just going to be him bragging for an hour about how he got tickets to front row seats to some k-pop band's concert. It was becoming such an issue that Kiku could remember all the concerts Yong Soo had been to. So far, he's seen BTS, BtoB, EXO, TeenTop, TWICE, Exid, F(x), Apink, Red Velvet, Girls' Generation, Seventeen, GOT7, and NCT 127.

"Can't you just tell me now? Alfred is sleeping at the moment." Kiku had chided, hoping his brother would just give up on his efforts.

"Please? It's important!"

"It's concert tickets, isn't it, Yong Soo?"

All Kiku heard before the call ended was a little groan from the taller man. Seriously, what was with him? Kiku understood that k-pop was good and all that, but if he had to choose between j-pop and k-pop, the choice was obvious even if he didn't care for either of the two. He preferred quieter instrumental music. 

A little sigh was released from Alfred, who was sleeping quietly beside Kiku. The blonde man was holding tightly onto Kiku's waist, holding him back from laying down. So there Kiku was, sitting upright and wishing he could lay down. He supposed he could sleep with his back against the headboard, but then he would wake up in the morning with pain in his back, even if Alfred had received that night.

Maybe that was why he was sleeping so quietly; other nights, he snored so loudly that fossils could probably hear him. Kiku smiled to himself as he stared at the man attached at his hip. 

  
POV switch // Emil

Emil laid his head next to Leon's who was burying his face into Emil's gray hair. The two men were sitting on the couch in the sitting room with the TV turned on even if they weren't watching it.

There was nobody else in the house, except maybe Yong Soo, but that was it. Almost all of Leon's brothers were out drinking besides Yong Soo and maybe Kiku, but he lived with his husband, so nobody ever knew what he was doing.

So now, Emil and Leon were sitting together with nothing to lose.

"Hey, Emil."

The words were muffled since Leon had a face full of thick hair, so Emil paid him no attention and pulled away from his boyfriend so he didn't have to deal with spit-slick hair. 

"Emil..."

Now that he could hear Leon, Emil had to listen. 

"I'm bored. Do you want to go out?"

"Let's go out," insisted the Chinese man.

"If you wanted to go out, you could've gone out with your brothers and sisters."

Leon let out a whimper.

"Please? They're no fun." 

God, Leon was really attractive but Emil sometimes wondered why else he dated the Chinese man. Why couldn't he have dated the Greek guy in his group? Emil never had feelings for him, but at least he was quiet. 

"No, we aren't going out. I don't feel like it."

Another small noise from Leon.

"Alright," he said. "We won't go out, just for you. I love you too much."

All of a sudden, Emil was reminded why he loved his boyfriend so much. Still, he remained stoic. He didn't really want to talk about their feelings while Yong Soo was still in the house, because knowing him, he would probably hear it and run downstairs and tease them about it even if they were 23.

"Do you want to go to my room?"

That was how Leon tried initiating things, simply asking that one question. Again, Emil didn't want to do anything that was too loud while anyone was in the house.

Leon was the opposite. He had absolutely no sense of shame whatsoever; if there were twenty people in the house he would probably still want to stick his dick inside of something.

"We can go up there, but we aren't doing anything. Your brother is awake." 

It was very clear that Yong Soo was awake. 

_(If you were quiet enough, you could hear him watching one of those Korean dramas that he seemed to love so much, even though the acting was horrible.)_

So Leon went silent for a few seconds and then sighed. "Yeah, he's awake."

Together the two young men made their way upstairs, hand in hand. Emil was interested in staring at the steps while Leon was more taken by Emil's pretty little face.

It was cute; three years into their relationship and Emil was still shy.

Leon would never admit it out loud for the European's sake, but he found it super fucking adorable. 

It had been a while since Yong Soo had been asleep in the next room, and Leon had opened his door multiple times just to make sure he wasn't just faking it. 

So since Emil and Leon didn't have to worry about any embarrassment or interruptions, Emil finally agreed to, as Leon would say, " **do the bang** " with him. He was 23 years old, and he still used every term for sex other than the actual word sex.

"You sure?"

"Yes, now hurry up before I change my mind," Emil chided.

"Fine, fine." Leon stood quietly and started unbuckling his belt as fast as he could without tripping, then pulled his pants down and hopped out of them. A little laugh was heard behind him, so he looked back to see what Emil found so funny.

Before he could ask, Leon looked down at his underwear and finally understood. He was wearing the underwear with the rainbow gradient all around them. On the back it said _"PARTY ON!"_ in comic sans. Now was a time when Leon wished he paid attention to which underwear he put on. 

  
POV Switch // Lukas

  
The time had accumulated since Lukas was actually reading. He just couldn't bring himself to stare at the simple words on the paper, even if he had been interested in the book. Since he didn't really have much to do, he decided to think back on his day. That's what he did when he wasn't occupied, recalled events of his day. 

He remembered the new guy, the Danish guy whose name he just couldn't seem to remember. _Matthew? Mildred?_ God, he had to ask Kiku for a copy of the roster; he was so bad at remembering names. One time, he forgot his own last name for a few minutes due to hitting his head against concrete. How he could remember that moment six years ago, but not the new guy's name, he didn't even know. All he knew was the guy was honest when he was supposed to be, so Lukas could guess that got him into trouble multiple times. He laughed to himself. New guy reminded him of Emil's boyfriend, Leon, who he just had to accept even if he wasn't very fond of him. 

It had been a good day, but also kind of odd. Lukas kind of wished he didn't tell the guy to be honest, because he knew he was attractive and he didn't need someone else to tell him. What Lukas wanted him to say was something like how he was feeling, not how attractive he was. Lukas didn't really know how to feel about him. From past experience, Lukas knew he couldn't deal with people having feelings for him, especially now since he had an event coming up.

Sometimes, he wished he was like his younger brother. At least he could acknowledge the fact that he had feelings and not deny it. But Lukas didn't have feelings, he just wanted to befriend the man without seeming too blunt or too aloof. 

For Lukas, that was impossible. At least, it was impossible for him to do it without seeming rude since it was _just his personality_ and he hated it. Aside from the new guy who really confused him, his day went well. Kiku and Mr. Alfred took their teams out to lunch and paid for it, and Lukas went in public without being noticed.

Instead, all the common people were paying attention to Elizaveta feeding Roderich, who seemed flattered and embarrassed while Elizaveta just smiled at him. 

It was cute, seeing how happy the two were together. They were the type of couple who would put flower crowns into each others' hair. 

Lukas didn't really feel the need for a relationship because he just didn't really feel like dealing with commitment. Again, it would interfere with his upcoming performance, which was in a few days. He had been practicing a lot lately, and today was just a break from that. It was a good thing to just separate yourself for just a day. 

A lot of times, Lukas wished he could separate himself for a longer time, even though he loved his job. He loved figure skating, and he loved his team and the respect he received, but he just didn't want to perform in front of many people for a while; he preferred being around a smaller group of people while practicing, which was why he's never even tried going to the Olympics. It was what Emil was going for, instead, since he did both ballet and figure skating. He was truly one of the most talented young men Lukas has had the privilege of knowing, and Lukas has seen many talented people. 

Lukas wished he could bring himself to live like his brother; out of spite, just to get his parents' attention and make them realize how shitty they were, but he couldn't bring himself to do that. 

The only reason he started figure skating was because it was enjoyable, not because he was kicked out of his house. The only thing that made Emil desire joining a professional company was that very reason; their parents and his ambition were what fueled Emil, while the only thing that fueled Lukas was the fact that he knew he had talent. 

Lukas had always heard that comparing yourself to others was bad for you, but maybe it wasn't so bad. It could tell you to reflect on yourself, and change your view of the world. He groaned quietly and rose from his seat, placed his elbows atop of the desk and stood there for a while, only reflecting on himself. 

Maybe it was a little useless being in a good company if you weren't going to try to get farther in your career and maybe it was bad to dislike yourself, but Lukas didn't care. He wanted to improve and he wanted to compete worldwide, making himself well known for both his appearance and talents in some place other than Norway. It could happen, one day if the universe would be so kind.


	2. up to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lukas goes to work in hopes of helping Matthias, preps for his summer performances, and Leon is a dumbass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> louise is monaco, and she is a little ooc but i only needed her as a side character.
> 
> i think i'm going to start keeping every chapter in one POV so everything makes more sense.

 

Lukas had fallen asleep with his head on his desk, his book under his face and now it was covered in drool. When he woke up, that was the first thing he'd noticed, and he cringed at the sight.

It was around 3 AM now. The sky was still dark and few stars were visible in the sky either since it was cloudy, or just light pollution. Either way, Lukas couldn't convince himself to care. He groaned and arose from his desk.

His back hurt like all hell from being hunched over five hours and his face was smothered in dry spit. He looked over to his phone and saw that he had three missed calls from an unkown number.

"Who the hell even..."

It was confusing because he hadn't given anyone his phone number in a long time. Even if he didn't want to, he unlocked it and called the person back.

He didn't feel like lifting his phone, so he put it on speaker and set it onto his desk.

" _Who's this?_ "

Once he hears the voice, he nearly hangs it up. It was the guy from earlier in the locker room.

"Lukas. Locker room?"

The reason Lukas says "locker room" is just because he's stunned and confused as to how he got his number. Also, he's really tired and was surprised that he typed the number correctly after five tries instead of ten.

" _Um, yeah. This is Matthias. How are you?_ "

"Fucking tired. Goodnight."

One last yelp is heard before Lukas ends the call. He doesn't feel like wasting his time talking to a man he won't be interested in, especially at 3 in the morning. It would be more beneficial to both parties if Lukas wasn't half coherent and pissy, since he was much more brutal at times like now. The chair Lukas sat in made his butt hurt, so he stood up and trudged his way to his bed as if he had been walking through a war torn city.

When he half-collapsed onto the bed, he nearly cried at the feeling of cool memory foam on his aching back.

( _Well, not really cried in reality, but he moreso let out some strange sound of pleasure that sounded similar to that one hairy guy from the Star Wars series.)_

Once Lukas adjusted to the feeling and actually got the motivation to move from his stagnant position on his bed, he rested his head on his pillows and pulled the sheets over his shoulders.

The soft comforter was warm compared to Lukas's earlier residence, the cold, wooden desk.

In the later morning, Lukas woke to the cool air floating in through a window, which really confused him because he never opened the window. That meant that Kiku, or Emil had gotten inside of the apartment and decided, " _Hey, this bitch is warm, let's open some windows,_ " and then opened Lukas's window only. Reluctant to sit up in his bed since he would feel really damn cold, and that was what he least wanted, he laid for a second to procrastinate waking completely.

Of all people, Lukas knew that you didn't always get the things you wanted. Full of exhaustion and frustration over nothing, he climbed out of his queen sized bed and walked out of his room. As expected, Emil was laying down on the couch and watching RUV, some Icelandic channel, which Lukas didn't know how exactly an Icelandic channel was available in Norway, but it wasn't really important. The only truly important thing occuring for Lukas is December 25th, since that evening he's going to be performing for the first time of the winter season. It was on Christmas, too, so he'd have to make it extra perfect even though the costume was not his style at all.

Lukas was drawn out of his thoughts as he stared at the program on TV. It was that one show Emil had claimed to have hated; **Desperate Housewives**. It was some mystery show about ladies in their dead neighbors' points of view or something like that.

Ok, well, maybe it was Leon who was watching the strange drama. He was laying behind Emil with his chest pressed to the blonde's back and his arms were wrapped around Emil's torso, holding him close as if he would leave if he didn't hold him. Lukas looked closer, and saw that his brother was sleeping and Leon wasn't watching the show at all. They were both asleep, and Lukas felt he had intruded on something slightly too romantic even though it was in his own living room.

Okay, maybe Lukas did feel a bit awkward because his last relationship was 10 years ago and it only lasted a damn month. How could his little brother have maintained a relationship for four years with his pissy attitude and negative outlook, while Lukas was unable to even talk to people? Well, Lukas may have been an even pissier guy, but he just kept it bottled up inside while Emil wasn't afraid to show it. Actually, that may have been why his relationship was stable. Emil announced whenever he had a problem with things, and then Leon could fix it easily. It was a communication thing, but Lukas sucked ass at that.

Upsetting thoughts aside, Lukas walked over to the black couch and shoved Emil and his boyfriend. They didn't wake up after five minutes of pushing them around. Usually, in times like this, Lukas pushed Emil off of the couch and onto the carpet, but there was an extra person, so it'd be slightly difficult.

Difficult or not, they had to go to work, so with a blank expression painted onto his face, he forced Emil off of the couch and he seemed to wake up halfway through the fall. Next was Leon, who Lukas honestly didn't like, so he pushed him off harder onto Emil's back.

"Lukas, what the fuck? That hurt."

"Well, we have to get to work and you haven't even eaten yet. Hell, you haven't even gotten dressed yet."

"Do we have to?"

"I mean, I have to help Matthias with the basics of things, so yes. Go get dressed."

Leon's facial expression was a familiar one that Lukas had always hated. It meant he was going to say something that was really fucking stupid, but nothing could stop the Chinese man from speaking.

"You should suck his dick."

"Oh my god."

Emil kneed Leon's groin and grunted.

"Asshole."

"Takes one to know one."

Even through the insults, Lukas could tell Emil loved the other man and enjoyed his humor. He was probably just showing a scary face because he thought it'd piss Lukas off to laugh. If they were alone, Emil would most likely chuckle and hide his face. He'd also probably agree that yes, Lukas was dry, and yes, he also needed a boyfriend.

Lukas didn't care about those things though. Silently, he'd turned around to walk back to his room so he could change his shirt. The color combination was too bright to go outside with. It was a long sleeved pajama shirt that was composed of pastel shades of blue, pink, and yellow. Really, it looked like a kid's shirt. It was still comfortable.

Behind him, Emil was walking without Leon.

"Lukas, I need to talk to you."

Lukas stopped walking and turned around, facing his little brother with his arms crossed. "What is it, Emil?" he asked, stepping closer.

"Come to my room. I have an idea."

Before they walked to the room, Emil looked down the hall to see if Leon was following them. Nothing suspicious was going on, but this was a surprise for only the two brothers. They then shut the door, locked it, then sat together on the queen sized mattress.

"Okay, so. You know how us dancers have a performance on Christmas Eve, right?"

"Yes."

Lukas did not like what he thought Emil was going to say.

"Well, I was thinking that you could perform something with me that night?" It was like Emil was 11 once again, all shy and nervous when asking his big brother for a favor.

"Continue."

"And well, we could make it mean something. I already have a song picked out, and I have the choreo down. All that I need is for you to memorize it and get a costume."

How exactly would he perfect a routine within two weeks? It took Lukas a few months to memorize his performances for this season, and he still had to perfect them. However, it was a decent idea, and Lukas had to give Emil credit for coming up with it.

"What are the costumes like?"

"I'm glad you asked."

With that, Emil stood from the bed and walked over to his closet. He pulled open the large door thus revealing the various clothing and costumes he'd owned.

After a couple minutes of digging through the closet through the strangely colorful outfits Emil pulled out two bags with similar costumes inside.

The suits were dark, but slightly different shades of purple. The bigger was a delicate shade of mauve, but the smaller which was most likely Emil's was shaded like a heather plant. Ruffles decorated the shoulders, and it was sparkly. Sparkly. That could be ignored, but the pants looked a bit too tight even though Lukas wore tight outfits but this, this was too much.

They looked nice, actually, and Lukas had a hard time imagining his younger brother wearing something related to them because, if Lukas was honest, Emil had a really weird fashion sense if it could even be called that.

"So, let me get this straight. You... had the outfits ready before you knew I'd say yes."

"Pretty much. If I couldn't use you, I'd use someone else to perform. Have 'em dress as you, or something."

That was a bit creepy, but as Lukas shifted on top of the bed he pondered his choices. Just perform with his brother, or suffer somebody wearing wigs and altering their proportions just to look like Lukas. It would be difficult to do that, though, because Lukas was the only man on the team with his body type and it took actual years to accomplish, so how would someone do it within a few days without surgery plus recovery days?

"I don't really want to do it, so would you really need to do a pair performance? I'll think about it. What's my reward?"

"Well, nobody is going to attempt to look like you, and you get to perform with me."

As Emil announced Lukas's not-so-much awards, the latter stood up and nodded as he listened in. He had to stand still at the door, listening for signs of breathing on the opposite side of the door.

Of course, Lukas knew it, Leon was standing beside the door, leaning down but staring up with a scandalous look on his face.

"Hey, Emil. Your dumbass is at the door."

"Oh, great."

When Emil stood up, Lukas pushed Leon out of the way in a not-so-kind manner, because the fact that the guy was just careless pissed Lukas off. Emil and Lukas had been discussing important, personal things and the Norwegian didn't want to deal with him.

"I'm going to change, and go. If you want to come with me then hurry," is what Lukas said, but he really hoped that they didn't want to come to work. He wouldn't walk, because it was Norway in the winter. Nobody would walk in that shit.

"Actually," Lukas countered, "stay here today. Or get a ride with someone else like Yao. I'm not driving with anyone today."

Yes, maybe Lukas was being a bit intolerable, but Leon pissed him off and he needed silence to think about Emil's offer. Plus, the younger man-children needed a day off.

Lukas grabbed the car keys off of the table by the doorway, and made his way out the door after he made sure the door had been locked. Knowing Emil and Leon, Lukas knew they wouldn't bother to do anything about locking the door.

After about five minutes, Lukas realized that he had left something at his apartment. Something important. Something vital.

His water bottle.

( _Okay, maybe it wasn't so vital but it was the transparent blue bottle that had the autographs of other skaters which Lukas accumulated over time and it was important! Over time he'd met Mao Asada, Keiji Tanaka, Javier Fernandez, Yuzuru Hanyu, Anne Gjersem, etc, etc.)_

Though, he couldn't turn around because he was halfway to the rink. Lukas decided he'd just stop by a convenience store he'd passed. Sort of upset about forgetting his bottle, he still parked in the parking lot of the dumpy looking store. Trashy or not, Lukas needed to come here so that he didn't pass out on the ice. He got dehydrated easily.

It was a little cold when Lukas opened his car door, but that's okay because he liked that. What he didn't like was having to run into gross convenience stores but life threw things at you.

Instead of opening the door himself, a young girl held the door open and was staring at Lukas. Did he have something on his face?

"Thank you," Lukas said, and he smiled lightly because he loved kids. He only ever smiled often for children, because they were easy to tolerate and generally lovable.

"You're Lukas Bondevik. Right?" asked the girl, and Lukas finally knew why she was staring at first. She recognized him as Lukas, rather than Emil Steilson's half-brother or Emil's Older Twin. They weren't even twins.

"Yes. Why?"

The girl was jumping up and down now, and Lukas guessed she was aged between 5 and 8. She had long, blonde braided hair and pale skin and she looked excited.

"You're so cool!"

Now she wasn't jumping, but visibly buzzing and Lukas bent over and looked into her blue eyes. Honestly, Lukas didn't think he was that great at much aside from ice skating but maybe that would help this girl.

"Ah... Thank you. What's your name?"

"Louise Bonnefoy, sir."

Bonnefoy... Lukas has heard that surname before. Wait, the old coach of the ballet district! "Wait," Lukas yelped, using his hands to hold onto Louise's shoulders and his butt to hold the door open. From afar it probably looked like he was trying to kidnap her, but he was just curious. "Who are you here with?"

"My dads, Francis and Arthur. Why?"

"Can you get them for me?"

Louise nodded, her braid bobbing with her head and she smiled a little bit. Without hesitancy, she grabbed onto Lukas's hand and pulled him into the little shop.

After they rounded a few corners of unhealthy snacks and drinks of the sort, Louise showed Lukas to a shelf that had more healthy options rather than the more common gluttonous items. Standing there were two recognizable men, both blonde but different eye colors and...

That was Arthur and Francis, standing together. The first to look up from the shelf was the British man, whose eyes instantly shone with something like nostalgia, if Lukas were to name it.

"Lukas?"

Then, Francis averts his eyes from the cheap snacks to Lukas and makes some strange noise. It's difficult to explain, but it was kind of like a squeal.

"Lukas! It's you!" Francis shouts, and he's grinning wide and running to Lukas.

Before Lukas could breathe, he was being crushed in a strong hug by the Frenchman. In private Lukas would be okay with this, but they're in public so Lukas's body stiffened to tautness as Francis embraced him.

"Why did your she say you're her dads, sir?"

"We adopted her. Also, don't call me sir," responded Francis, and then he pulled away but still held onto Lukas's arms. "It's been so long... Could you bring us to the rink again? How are Kiku and Alfred doing?"

Too many questions, thought Lukas, who realized that he was still an inch or two shorter than Francis. "Yes," he said. "I can take you. Are you both coming?"

"Louise is, too," Arthur shouts, even though he's only a few feet away from Lukas.

Needless to say, Lukas forgot to purchase a water bottle.

 

It didn't matter to Lukas that he wasn't wearing a coat, and forgot to buy water. It really didn't. All that mattered was that Francis and Arthur were visiting the rink for the first time in five years. It filled Lukas with nostalgia, a warm but unwelcome feeling both at once.

The three men and Louise pulled the door open behind them, and tried entering as quietly as possible. In the car, Francis had stated that he wanted to surprise Kiku and Alfred. So they did, and Louise's flats made little pattering noises against the hard floor of the entrance.

"Come on," whispered Lukas, who tried to quiet himself even more by covering his lips with his hand. He lead the way, and showed them to the doors that were at the front desk.

Nobody was sitting there, so Lukas felt free to push open the glass door without having to worry about noise restrictions. He held his bag close, and breathed in a quiet manner as he held the door open for the other three people.

Once they were all through, Lukas pushed them all behind him so as to try to disguise them as much as possible.

"Kiku? Are you here?"

"Now I am," Kiku made his entrance, and Lukas stared because he looked awfully casual today. Clad in skinny jeans and a faded gray t-shirt, he looked different, and not in a bad way. Actually, he looked really good for a 30 year old.

"Good. You have visitors," responded Lukas, who stood still and waited for Kiku's response.

"Usually it's me who says that. When are they coming?"

"They're here."

"Where?"

Then Lukas stepped aside, and motioned his hand towards the men and girl behind him all smiling brightly. (Well, Arthur wasn't really smiling, per se, but it was pretty close.)

"Arthur? Francis? Hello!" Kiku looked nervous. His pupils were shrunken, and his face was crimson like he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do. "Who's this?" Kiku beckoned towards Louise, who was clutching her hands to her chest and had wide eyes.

"This is Louise, our daughter. Isn't she adorable?" Francis gushed, smiling and laughing like he was still young and not nearly 40.

"Ah, yes... Would you like to skate today?"

Lukas stood aside, watching the interactions between the older men, and decided he would go find Matthias. Today, Lukas had to spectate Matthias, and help him with detecting his performance style and types of costumes. With this in mind, he said a small goodbye and pushed open the door so he could head to the locker room.

Surprisingly, when Lukas entered the changing room, Matthias wasn't on his phone. Instead, he was pulling on a pair of black and red skates, which actually looked really nice. Another surprise for Lukas, because Matthias seemed like the type of guy to wear old and worn skates, not fancy ones.

"Kohler." That was all Lukas could remember, but it was good enough.

"That's me. Matthias Kohler of planet Earth. Hello," Matthias quipped, then smiled up at Lukas.

That smile was sugary, intoxicating to Lukas, but he hid that with a stoic expression so that he'd seem pissed about earlier that morning. Lukas only wanted a simple apology from the new man. So his name was Matthias.

"Anyway," muttered Matthias, who was now sitting up while Lukas tied his skates on. "I'm sorry about this morning. I was stupid for that,  it won't happen again."

"It's fine," countered Lukas. "You aren't stupid, you didn't know."

If he was going to befriend this guy, Lukas figured it would be easy to go the nicer way. All he was worried about was accidentally letting down the façade, and driving him away.

"Really? Thank you," replied Matthias, who was still grinning bright like the sun. God, the second real meeting and Lukas found himself wanting to stare at Matthias.

As Matthias and Lukas made their way out onto the rink, they noticed it was empty. Which was strange, but then Lukas remembered that Francis and Arthur were here, so everyone was crowded by the front door of the building. No complaints from either of the two, though.

"Who's here? Someone famous?"

"No. Our old coaches, Arthur and Francis."

"Why aren't you over there? You've been coached under them, right? Come on, let's go!"

And then Lukas was being pulled by the hand off of the ice and over to the crowd of people. It wasn't that Lukas didn't like his hand being touched, but he didn't really want to be stuck in the large crowd so he let go of Matthias's hand and made his way back.

Lukas felt a sense of relief once the blade of his skate tapped against the ice. He always has; he'd always come to the rink when something stressed him out. It's always ridded him of his worries, but sometimes only distracted him for momentary periods.

As he glided, he realized that he didn't have music playing over the loudspeakers so he halted and pulled out his phone. The earbuds were already plugged in, so he pushed them into his ears and selected the song for his pride event routine, even if that was a long ways away. (June 3rd, to be exact, but time would fly fast.)

It was a pop song called Youth by an Australian singer named Troye Sivan, but he hadn't selected it. Rather, Alfred had chosen it and Kiku had choreographed it, which was surprising. This performance had to be a surprise, though, because it was always best to shock viewers with something the opposite of yourself.

Once the music started playing, Lukas was losing himself and in his head he listed off his jumps and spins, mindlessly ignoring the crowd of dancers and skaters socializing. It was nice, being able to just let go for a little while.

Now, Kiku was watching Lukas with Alfred, his hands covering the lower half of his face. Even though he was wearing a Setesdal sweater _and_ a scarf, he was strangely cold.

Lukas paid no mind to his voyeurs, just landed his quad Lutz as if it was easy, and then the other things he had to perform.

A loop, quad sal, a few other jumps and spins like the Biellmann and Yuna, and then he was done before he knew it. It was a lengthy routine, but it was so quick paced that he had lost track of the time before it was complete. Since he hadn't fallen at all during this one, he figured that it would be safe to practice it less while he focused on his other events more.

Now, he was panting heavily, and God, he needed a bottle of water because he could barely fucking breathe. 

Faster than he should've, Lukas made his way off of the ice without a single trip, and held onto the partition wall for a short moment to regain a bit of his energy. He felt a hand on his, and looked up to notice that Kiku was trying to make sure Lukas wasn't having a panic attack, something he was prone to during the stress of performances, even when they weren't even competitions. Lukas had only participated in two contests in the past, and though he'd won first, he was young and performed much better than the novice class kids, now he was surrounded by figure skaters who had performed in at least one Worlds competition and Lukas had never competed professionally because of his damned anxiety. It was great.

"You okay?" Kiku asked, still managing to look so stoic even while concerned. At least Lukas knew he cared, and also that all the other skaters knew not to surround him all at once, so they were all trying to look like they were minding their own business but apparently they weren't, because the door to the ballet studio opened and Alfred and Emil emerged from them. 

"Yeah," responded Lukas, who wasn't having a panic attack, but was just struggling to catch his breath. "I just need a bottle of water."

Slowly, he was starting to regain control of his lungs while Kiku escaped to his office to dig through wherever and find a water bottle for Lukas. Emil rushed over in a speed walk, though with no visible panic, and leaned over his brother.

"All good, right?" Only Emil could really differentiate between Lukas's panic attacks and breathlessness, because his panic attacks were rare but had certain signs. No shakiness or sitting in a corner, but just slightly heavy breathing, lightly trembling hands, and dilated pupils. Even after all these years, Emil was the only one who knew, and that sucked, because it was only him who could really help him through them and most of the time they occurred, Emil was busy practicing ballet. The good thing, though, was that in a year they only hit Lukas less than five times.

"Yeah. You know."

"Careful, okay? If you hurt yourself I'm going to have to be the one who fills out your info at the hospital," commanded Emil, who did great at disguising his concern for his older sibling by putting himself first. Lukas didn't even care to ask how he got to the place.

"Hm."

After about three minutes, Kiku returned with a water bottle in his hands and a sheepish grin on his face. "Sorry I took so long," he apologized, and approached Lukas to set it onto the wall where he still gripped. 

"'S fine," said Lukas, and stood as straight as possible. With little difficulty, he skated to the opening of the rink and stepped onto the frictious ground. It felt strange compared to the slippery surface of the ice, but he welcomed it as he rounded and approached Kiku. He was leaning with his elbow against the wall, attempting to seem casual but coming off as nervous. There was nothing to be nervous about, so Lukas wondered.

"Why so nervous?"

"I'm not nervous."

"Alright. Well, I'm going to get Matthias and go upstairs. Be careful," Lukas responded to Kiku's obvious lie. 

So, he went to search for Matthias, and discovered that he was sitting on the ground and playing with Louise on a bench near the front desk. His back was turned to the girl, and she was doing something with his hair, possibly braiding it, and clipping little hair accessories to his unruly, blond hair. Something about the scene almost made Lukas coo aloud, but he actually wanted to preserve his dignity, so he just decided on watching until either of the two noticed. Lukas hoped that he Matthias didn't remember the style inspection Lukas had to perform on him, because he just wanted to do nothing but watch the scene before him all day.

"So, Louise. You know Lukas, right? Norwegian guy, kinda short?"

"Of course, Mr. Matthias. Who doesn't?"

Lukas listened to the conversation between the two, and did his best to remain silent. He wanted to know what Matthias was going to say about him.

"He's pretty cute, but I think I annoy him even if he's only seen me twice. I don't know why I'm talking about this to a seven year old."

"Take him to a park."

"How would I approach him, though? He's so... I don't know. But I want to know him so bad... I'll like the snarky comments but I don't want to seem too forward..."

So Matthias was the type of guy who got hopelessly romantic after scarcely knowing someone. Those types of people were always cute, but Lukas felt guilty for coming across as pissy to him. Instead of initiating a conversation with the pining man, he tiptoed away as best as he could on skates from the pair and headed for the locker rooms. He hadn't even gotten much done today, but Lukas felt exhausted from everything. 

He just wanted to talk to Matthias, but he didn't even know how to approach him properly. Fear had accumulated inside of his core over the past years from keeping his walls built so high. Somehow, though, he was going to try. 

Lukas wanted to know Matthias, because he knew that there was more to him than just a booming voice and fancy black skates.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! i'm so glad to have finally gotten this published on here, especially with the things that've happened the past few months. both of the times i got to 6k words in my past drafts, they were both deleted and i had to restart. now that things have settled down, plus with me finding my laptop charger after a year, i think updates will be posted quicker.
> 
> again, thanks for reading!!! i hope u enjoyed.
> 
>  
> 
> [main tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/asbjorns)  
> [side tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kanequeen)  
> [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/kanequee.n/)


	3. count on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matthias discovers new things and lukas is unpredictable.
> 
> (chapter title from bruno mars's count on me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 3!!!! i'm sorry it's so short this time but next chapter will be longer :^)

When Matthias was done with Louise, who had put an assortment of Dora and Hello Kitty hair accessories into his wild hair, he decided he should've probably stopped fooling around and just... find Lukas. It wouldn't be completely easy, especially when he'd just had a heart-to-heart with a seven year old girl about him. 

He'd still do it, though, even if he wanted to just stay away from Lukas to avoid vexing the younger man.

So Matthias hugged Louise, thanked her for doing his hair so great, and promised to do hers soon, and then left her to find her own dads.

The first place Matthias thought to look was at the front office, so he made his way and pushed the doors open, only to find the room completely empty aside from Mr. Alfred. It was also cold, but that might've been from his close proximity with the glass doors.

"What's up? Are you lookin' for someone?" Mr. Alfred asked, looking up from a book he was reading with a smile on his face. He was the only person over 30 that Matthias has ever seen smiling more often than not. (Maybe that French guy, too.)

"Yeah. Have you seen Lukas?"

"Not sure. Maybe you could ask Kiku. He's at the vending machine. Not sure why, though."

"Thanks! Have a nice day," yelled Matthias, who was then out of the door in less than five seconds. He didn't know why he asked the ballet/dance coach rather than his and Lukas's own coach. Curse his short-track mind. Oh well. 

Instead of spending five minutes wallowing in the embarrassment of everything, Matthias made his way to the vending machines. All he had to do was look around, and he'd find it. He made his way around a corner, and discovered that it was the bathroom and not a vending machine. When he noticed that, he couldn't help but feel a little stupid. 

Back when Lukas was on the ice, Matthias remembered Kiku heading somewhere around here, close to the bathrooms. Once he turned the other direction and to the women's bathroom, he found that the vending machine was next to the women's one. Not the men's one. There Kiku was, staring down at the bottom shelf with a blank look in his eyes. Was it normal to seem so... stoic? From what Matthias had seen, even Lukas wasn't that dull, even though he was close. 

"Mr. Kiku! Have you seen Lukas? I don't know where he could be," Matthias called, and waved over at Kiku. Apparently it scared the guy, because when he turned to face Matthias, he gave a stunned face for a second, and then went back to his boring expression. 

"I saw him go past, over to the dance studio, I think."

"Thank you," hollered Matthias, who then turned his way to find the dance studio. All he knew was that it was connected to the rink, but he didn't know exactly where. There were a lot of doors here, so he felt helpless. Actually, he had just seen some guys emerge from a certain door when he looked over to it, and they didn't look like figure skaters. They were wearing these ballet uniforms that looked really uncomfortable and no skates, so maybe that's where it was, and also Lukas.

As Matthias made his way over to the door, a man that was taller than him walked past, who was blonde and tall, and his hair looked kind of like a tulip. He also looked pretty serious. maybe he knew where Lukas was.

"Hey, do you know who Lukas is? Have you seen him?" Matthias asked, watching as the guy strode past and turned to face him. With a blank look, he responded, "In there," and then pointed a finger in the direction of the room he'd emerged from. 

"Thank you again! I'll see you soon!"

Even after all of Matthias's decency, the dude still looked intimidating, way more than Lukas. It was scary. Once he decided he wouldn't bother him anymore, he forced past the doors and stared around the room for any signs of Lukas, but there were a lot of people to look through. At least twenty, maybe thirty.

Wait. There was a familiar face through the sea of people, but he was talking to another person. Surprising.

A man who was kind of short tapped Matthias on the shoulder. He had short hair, dark skin, and wore a little bit of eyeliner. Anyone with even barely functioning eyes could see that he was pretty, even if Matthias put him next to Lukas.

"No ice skates in the studio, please. Also, are you looking for someone?"

"Oh. Sorry. Also, I'm looking for Lukas." Matthias said, smiling down at the man.

"It's fine. He's over there," he pointed over to the corner where Lukas was talking to someone. "I'm Gupta, by the way."

"Matthias."

Gupta turned the other direction, and approached a taller man who had a bit of stubble, dark hair and olive skin, who was waiting in an arabesque position, laughing for absolutely no reason. That was probably Sadik, the guy Matthias heard that caused too much trouble. He could tell just from looking at him.

Matthias did the same as Gupta, except he made his way to Lukas's corner.

The guy Lukas was talking to was about Gupta's height, and he looked really similar to Lukas, minus the weird hair curl and hair clip. Maybe they were brothers.

In a loud tone, Matthias asked, "Lukas?", which caused said man to silence himself and turn around. Though, he didn't look as enthusiastic now as he was talking to his lookalike.

"Take off your skates," Lukas commanded, pointing down at the dark skates and glaring. Matthias complied and bent over to remove them

"Thanks."

All Matthias did from his kneeling position was look up, smile, and nod. From down there, Matthias could just barely notice the little distortion in Lukas's face that resembled embarrassment.

Once he was done, he stood again and set his hands on his hips, mirroring Lukas's own movement unconsciously. The Lukas Sorta-Doppelganger was glaring at Matthias, but it was more humorous than intimidating.

"Anyway, why did you come in here? Is something up?"

"Well," started Matthias. "Weren't you supposed to do the thing where you tell me my style and that shit, or do the coaches do that?"

Now Matthias metaphorically had Lukas in his grip, because he almost looked amused. Maybe if he just expressed it a bit more, it'd be clear that he was.

"You're right. I have to. Let me just finish up with my little brother."

Ah, so that's what the guy was, Lukas's brother. Though, he didn't look that little and he seemed unpleased now that Lukas had called him that.

"Alright, sounds good."

"Yeah. I know. How about you go wait over there?" Lukas asked, and motioned over to the door that seemed to open repeatedly as people kept flooding through. Was something going on? Nobody seemed to be carrying anything aside from the coaches, but Matthias still wondered.

"Yeah. I can do that," responded Matthias, who laughed and then walked over to stand next to the glass doors that people walked past. He felt kind of awkward, like he wasn't supposed to be standing in here. That was normal when you were new to something, though, right? Still, he had to make his presence known no matter what it took, or he'd have joined for no reason. 

Lukas was now approaching Matthias, hands in the pockets of his gray sweater. The only emblem on it was a little Norwegian flag, which surprised Matthias, because Lukas didn't seem like the type of guy to be patriotic at all. Still, it looked kind of cute on him and Matthias liked surprises. Loved them in fact.

No hello, only, "We won't really be skating today," and a little wave to make Matthias follow him out of the studio. 

He complied, and held open the door for Lukas because he was decent. People were still coming in and out the doors, so Matthias was still curious. "Is anything going on? I'm so confused about everything."

"Have Kiku explain it," Lukas responded. It was clear that Lukas didn't really like to talk and probably didn't want to do this, but he was dealing well. Anyone who's even glanced at Lukas could tell he didn't socialize.

"Okay, but I think he's busy. Is there a performance coming up?" 

"Kind of."

"How specific," Matthias said, and laughed to himself. 

"Anyway. I was told earlier I'd have visitors around now. I'll see you soon," drawled Lukas, and then walked away to the office with a wave of his left hand.

Now that Lukas was gone for a while, Matthias didn't know what to do to pass time. Should he have waited for another person? Went and skated? Nobody told him, so he decided he would see what was upstairs. He'd never even gotten a proper tour, which was the reason for his curiosity in the first place.

The stairway was strangely cold, and since Matthias wasn't wearing a jacket he had to cross his arms and even then, he was still fucking cold. Great. Wonderful. 

To get away from the chill of the hall, he made his way up the stairs as fast as he could. (Really damn fast.) As he made his way up, the air began to warm and he knew it was due to some kind of science, but he never really cared about science and he studied architecture in college, though it didn't bother him. 

Through the doorway, a hallway paved with oak wood and covered with black carpet, which twisted into more halls and around five rooms that he could see, and they were all probably really big. There was one large window embellished with black flowers engraved into glass, and if Matthias looked out of it his stomach would probably hurt.

The first room Matthias thought to explore was the closest to the left of the hall, and the door was wide open. So, he peered inside and saw a barre attached to a mirror, but not much else. A blanket sat folded in the corner and that was pretty much it. 

The next room was to the right side of the hall, but the door was almost completely shut. Matthias decided to glance through the crack, and he saw nobody in there, so he opened it all the way. In the corner there was a blanket just like the other room, but there was a desk on the opposite side of the room cluttered with papers and office supplies, and strangely there was a barre in there, too. All he wanted to know was why there were blankets.

"Enjoying your tour?" A voice spoke behind Matthias and he jumped, but to his relief it was just Lukas. Stoic, pretty Lukas.

"Sure," the Dane responded, and laughed out of embarrassment. "Anyway. Who came to visit you?" 

"Just some old friends."

Wait, Lukas had friends? Matthias would've thought the opposite, not to be rude, but Lukas just didn't seem as if he'd have friends. Maybe they stuck with him through a hard time, or something. 

"What are their names?" 

"Tino and Berwald."

Matthias turned his back to Lukas, and glared around the room. The rooms all probably existed for a reason, but Kiku and Mr. Alfred seemed like the only people to know why. Maybe Lukas did, but he didn't want to make the man talk too much.

Oh, but he was so curious.

"Why are there all these rooms?"

"Oh," Lukas almost sounded upset, like he was expecting something else. "This is like an office. The first room is an extra practice room. Next room is a piano and dance room, the room after that is a small ballroom, and the last one is a knitting room. Don't ask."

"Why are there blankets?" Matthias asked, and pointed over to the pink, fluffy blanket in the corner.

"If people are here late, in circumstances like heavy snow or practicing until after midnight."

"Oh," Matthias said, and headed out to find the piano room. It sounded nice when Lukas had described what they were for, and he couldn't help but want to stay there with him. It would be kind of nice to just talk to him, but that would only occur in a perfect world. Hell, the man was so pretty that he probably had a boyfriend or girlfriend already. Was he gay or not? So many questions, so little time. 

Footsteps were heard behind Matthias, so he just accepted that he would be followed by Lukas for a while. It wouldn't be so bad, especially since he wanted to get to know Lukas so  _bad._  

The piano room that Lukas told him about was so pretty, when Matthias stepped inside he let out an audible gasp. It had the barre like every other room did, but something about it just seemed so nice. Maybe it was the way that the barely-there sun filtered through the half-shut curtains, or the overall cleanliness every other room probably lacked. This room seemed special.

"Hey," Matthias started. "Since you're so quiet, I figured something happened to you. What's your story?" Perhaps he was being too pushy or nosy, but he genuinely wanted to know.

For a bit, Lukas seemed hesitant and remained silent with a blank look in his eyes. 

"I was always quiet. My parents kicked my brother and I out when I was eighteen. There's my story," it was said with haste, and Lukas looked scared but annoyed. 

_What was he kicked out for? Was he a bad person? I need to know,_ the Dane thought, but remained with a normal look on his face. 

* * *

Lukas didn't want to tell Matthias why he was kicked out. Sure, it might've led to some suspicion but at least he didn't have to worry about how he felt about gay guys.

That was the shitty thing.

Even in a country that was pretty acceptant of gay people, there were still people who would beat him up for it. Lukas's fear stemmed from his parents' reaction mostly, and even though they've become estranged, he's still afraid. The Danish man seemed sweet, but Lukas still couldn't help but want to keep this to himself.

"So... I'm sorry if I seem intrusive, but why were you kicked out?" Matthias asked, and crossed his arms together.

The moment of truth. Better to be blunt about it than hold it off, right? "I'm gay. That's why. Thanks."

Surprisingly, Matthias didn't seem shocked or disgusted, but just smiled. As if the world was perfect, but maybe his was.

"Okay. But the guys here accept you, right? Tell me if I need to fight anyone," the taller said, and Lukas felt very  _appreciated_ at the moment. 

He loved it. He loved the support because it felt so rare even if his team always encouraged him. It was weird, he was weird. 

"Thank you," Lukas responded, and crossed his arms. The room had went dead silent aside from the screaming of air outside of the window which was unsurprisingly loud. It was winter, after all. 

"So, who's your favorite musician?" Lukas asked. The word musician felt too  _formal_ and he couldn't help but laugh to himself. It didn't seem like Matthias saw, so he figured he was clear.

"I have a lot. Lights & Motion, Random Forest, Jamie Scott, and Asbjørn if I had to pick," Matthias responded, then headed over to the window. He looked down with wide eyes and faces Lukas once more. His elbow was resting on the barre which extended from the window on one side of the room to the mirror. It was funny how he had to bend over for his elbow to be able to reach it.

"Hm. I like Anders Jektvik and Joshua Hyslop."

"So why don't you ever skate to them?"

"Kiku says the songs I pick don't have the right mood for our upcoming performances."

"Hm," Matthias hummed, and gazed around to see if he could find a music player in the large room. It was easy to find since on the desk it sat on, there was nothing else cluttering it. There was an auxiliary cord connected to it so he walked over, pulled his phone from his pocket, and plugged it in to the player. "We're going to look at my music on here, and see what you like so you can perform it."

"Thanks," responded Lukas and headed over to stand by Matthias's side. They looked through the playlist the taller had compiled together. Most of the songs were by artists Lukas had never even heard of.

"You can just choose any song."

So Lukas did; he picked a random song and he was surprised when he saw it was Elton John. Matthias didn't pass as the type to listen to him, but that was only just from the things Lukas had gathered recently.

"Can You Feel The Love Tonight? From that movie about the lions?"

"Lion King, you mean?" Lukas asked, and shook his head.

"Whatever. The point is, this song is good and sweet but is it good enough to perform solo?" Matthias asked, and raised his arms into the air as if he was asking some kind of deity for guidance.

"I guess it's better for pairs."

They skipped to the next song which was also too slow for a single skate, but the next was perfect.

"We Only Have Forever? What do you think?" Matthias asked but Lukas ignored him in favor of paying attention to the music. It was instrumental, which was good, because it wouldn't distract him as much when he performed.

"I like it."

 

  
The next few hours were spent with Matthias practicing dance while talking to Lukas, who sat on the piano and responded quietly.

Lukas had learned that Matthias's favorite season was summer, and that he'd been dancing almost since he could walk.

"I used to always dance with my mom, we even have videos back in Denmark," he had said, but Lukas couldn't picture the overgrown man-child as a baby, surprisingly.

Also that he was gay, and that he had talked to his mom about it as soon as he discovered it. Of course, she accepted him without treating him different. Matthias's favorite color was red, and he had been to multiple international skating competitions which made Lukas feel so small. Matthias was practically a Danish celebrity, but then again he wasn't _so_ big if Lukas'd never heard of him.

"I can't picture you as a baby," Lukas had responded with a shake of his head.

"Well, it happened."

"How do you talk so easily when your legs are behind your back?"

The Danish man had been sitting on the ground with his calves situated behind his head and it was making his hair worse. Lukas wanted to style it in some way, just… not so _messy_.

"Practice. I'm also flexible as fuck, so that helps."

Now that he had mentioned it, Lukas realized just how out of shape he was for a figure skater. He barely stretched before practice anymore, and lack of sleep also aided in ruining him.

The sun had began to set as the pair continued their conversations, and before they knew it Kiku was coming to the piano room to tell them about it.

"Are you staying tonight?" Kiku asked, and then looked at the two men in the room.

"No," Matthias had responded as he pulled his leg from the barre. All Lukas had been doing, really, was talking to Matthias so he responded the same way.

Which led them to where they were now. Standing in front of each other while Matthias wrote down his phone number because Lukas deleted it from his call log.

"Have a good night," the Norwegian said as he left the room and shut the door. Well, he wouldn't say a thing, but he felt strangely proud of (maybe) befriending Matthias. At first he figured it'd be difficult with how rude he was sometimes, but it seemed he actually liked it.

Lukas liked talking to him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i know i said it would just be one pov, but not in this one. it was important to put lukas's thoughts so oh well


	4. just one day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matthias and lukas spend some quality time together in the piano room upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this gets really cheesy and it's really short so im sorry bout that :// i've had this halfway completed for over a year. (december 1st, 2016 to be exact????)
> 
> P.S. [here](https://youtu.be/Paq8bLw-h50) is the song that lukas is playing on the piano

There's a little black stool pushed beneath the large piano, and the piano is shut and it looks really expensive. The room upstairs is like many of the other rooms, because though there was a dance studio downstairs, there were other practice rooms for the dancers so they could dance alone. The piano room only existed because Alfred installed the equipment inside as a romantic gesture for Kiku when he first went into leadership.

Lukas pulls the black stool out, and sits down while Matthias decides to stand against the barre, something kept there before the room contained a piano and a few neatly folded blankets in the corner for the nights people stayed in the building late. It was a kind gesture from Kiku, because he knew many of the dancers and skaters stayed after normal hours just to perfect their routines.

"Do you happen to know other forms of dance? Like ballet, Matthias?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Just wondering"

Once Lukas opened up the piano, he couldn't help but remember he still had to practice Emil's dance routine, as well as his own. He pressed his fingers against the keys gently, as if the entire thing would shatter if he performed any harder. 

It was a rendition of a Korean song he'd been shown recently. Lukas had only gotten a hold of it because of Emil and Yong Soo, who had showed it to him, because the only foreign music he'd really listened to was English music. The tune was only based off of what he'd heard, therefore he wasn't really proud of it though Matthias seemed to be enjoying it, because he was placing his hands onto Lukas's shoulders and it was overwhelming but he liked it. This was a good kind of overwhelming.

"You're good at this," whispered Matthias, blue eyes shining lightly. Something played behind them, something Lukas was unable to decipher as he turned to see Matthias's face next to his own. They were very close, and Lukas felt nervous, a feeling Lukas only felt before his performances. It was a good feeling.

"Thank you," responded Lukas, whose eyes started feeling heavy as he stared into Matthias's own.

What was this? Why was Lukas feeling so at peace, yet so restless just waiting for Matthias to make a move. They had already been staring into each other's eyes, so there would be no logical explanation if they pulled their sights away from each other.

Oh, wait! Matthias was moving forward; closer and closer until his eyes were shut and lips brushed against Lukas's, and Lukas couldn't decide on what to do. 

_Do I pull away? Do I push forward? No, that would make me seem demanding. Shouldn't I shut my eyes, or something? Oh no, I'm confused._

So Lukas sat on the stool with hooded eyes, and he decided to reciprocate the kiss so nothing seemed one-sided. Matthias's hands were still splayed over Lukas's back, and the touch sent sparks shooting from his chest to his head and it was really, really nice. Lukas moved a hand that was once on the piano to caress Matthias's cheek, and he finally shut his eyes because he was no longer confused on what to do.

As they pulled away from each other, Lukas realized that the kiss was like a skating routine. In the beginning, it seemed like such a strange concept but as he got the hang of things, it was easy and it flowed with a perfect structure.

"Ah... Lukas, I'm sorry!" Matthias muttered, and covered his face with his hands. "You probably like some other guy here... I'm sorry."

"Actually, it wasn't bad. Don't apologize. I... liked it, actually." For once, it wasn't difficult for Lukas to express that he enjoyed something. It seemed like a small feat, but it was always so difficult to talk about his passions but it was easy, now.

"Wait... I wasn't your first, was I?"

What a strange question.

"You were, why?"

Lukas moved his hands to his lap, and turned completely to face the Danish man. 

"Oh, my God. So it was good?"

"Well, I can't compare to anyone else because I have no prior experience, but yes. It was nice."

Matthias sighed from the relief, because the kiss had been sudden which should've made it a bit bad, so thank God that it didn't.

"That's good. What are we going to do now, though? The guys are going to find out and then the public will notice and we'll have to lie and I hate lying to people so what are we going to do?" Questioned Matthias, but Lukas stepped off of the seat and pressed a finger against Matthias's lips to calm him down. The touch only made Matthias embarrassed, which made Lukas smile a little bit which was rare. So, it was a score for Matthias.

"Don't worry, I think. I don't know. Shit. We should've thought this through before, right?"

A little scoff and then Lukas crossed his arms over his chest to stare at Matthias. They stood like that for a moment, only staring until Lukas noticed a figure standing in the doorway staring as well.

"Kiku?"

The name was stated clearly by Lukas, because Matthias wasn't aquainted well enough with Kiku to not call him Mr. Kiku, and now Lukas's stomach ached because,  _damn,_ that was scary. Did he see anything?

It was quiet as Kiku walked further into the room with his arms behind his back. He was wearing casual clothing for once, tight fit jeans and a plain white turtleneck and it was new, but it looked nice on him.

"Lukas? Are you two... together?"

Oh, no. So Kiku did see them kiss. Lukas felt his face warm up a little (a lot) at the thought because he didn't really like his private moments being seen. Well, maybe he should've shut the door, but still.

"Ah... I'm sorry, Kiku. It just happened, but please don't tell anyone."

"Lukas. Do you view me as that type of man? Don't worry and don't be sorry."

Maybe Lukas wasn't really astonished, but there was still some kind of nice feeling bubbling in his chest from the reassurance provided. Matthias was almost forgotten until he pitched into the conversation.

"So... the public will find out eventually, right?"

Kiku looked over to Matthias and nodded with a little frown, expressing sympathy. 

"Lukas, do ya think you'll be ready for when they find out?"

Actually, Lukas wasn't really sure because of all the underlying anxiety that already tingled beneath his skin. They had gotten tangled into some sort of clusterfuck, and now there wasn't any escape.

"I guess we'll see. As of right now, though," he turned to face Matthias, "I don't think I am. So let's be subtle about this, okay?"

"Anything for your comfort!" It was almost as if Kiku had left the room, because Matthias was yelling again, but the oldest man was really just covering a small smile with his hand.

"Just don't do anything you aren't supposed to, okay?" 

"Okay, dad. Have a good night, and be careful, alright? The roads are icy." 

When Kiku started walking out of the room in high spirits, Lukas set his hands upon his hips and walked over to the little radio that sat on a black table and popped a silver disc inside.

A tune started playing, and it was surprisingly upbeat and... Matthias recognized it. 

"Wait... did you just make a  _joke?_ "

"No. Kiku's let me call him that ever since my actual parents kicked me out. It's kind of personal. Sometimes I do call him dad as a joke, though. It's dumb, isn't it?"

Matthias was apalled that Lukas had the idea that it was stupid. It was a coping method, so it'd never be stupid to him.

"Not at all! Actually, it's a good idea. Don't worry," and then Matthias pulled Lukas to his chest and held him there for a bit. 

"Is this uncomfortable at all?" Matthias asked into Lukas's neck, and it was quiet aside from the ventilation blasting in the background. 

Lukas just  _hmph_ s into Matthias's ear, which probably meant  _no, please keep holding me because I'm having a moment._

"This is like one of those weird romance movies."

"Is that bad?" asks Lukas, and promptly pulled away with his hands pressed to Matthias's chest. It was warm in his arms, and Lukas wanted to be held again but they both had things to do. 

"Not really. I actually like it," responded Matthias, who was grabbing one of Lukas's hands and intertwining their fingers together. The touch was too intimate to Lukas, but he didn't want to let go at the same time. Confusing.

"This is going to change everything, though. I should've thought!" 

"Matthias. Don't worry, I'll be ready for when it happens," is all Lukas said, and it reassured Matthias finally, and then the shorter of the two twined his fingers with Matthias's and held still. 

Lukas could now pay attention to Matthias's face without having to worry about being caught. So he stared as he willed, and found himself mesmerized by the stars on his cheeks and the clear waters in his eyes. Just like the first time.

This time, Lukas kissed Matthias first but it was on the cheek, but the Dane still felt giddy. Comfort had finally found its way into Lukas, and it was a good thing that Matthias had helped it settle. He wanted to be the reason Lukas got butterflies in his stomach and blushed over a small gesture.

"I barely even know anything about you," Matthias whispers, laughing into Lukas's cheek and kissing it. 

"You'll learn. I'm not very interesting."

"Lies. What's your favorite color. Favorite food. Everything."

"Purple. Stockfish. Be more specific on everything."

There isn't an attractive way to describe how Lukas is feeling, but his stomach is wiggling because he's so close to Matthias. "Favorite thing about me?"

"Not sure. I think we're moving too fast, though. It might be your motivation, though."

"You're the first person who said something about my actual personality, not just my ass," and somehow that makes Matthias chuckle, blushing red in his cheeks. The sight makes Lukas's heart clench, and he desperately wants to coo at him.

"It's not even that great," Lukas responds with snark, only causing the younger to groan in fake annoyance. "There are great asses all over Norway."

There's a shitty grin forming on Matthias's face. "I mean, mine is Danish. A danish is also a really good food. People love to eat danishes and Danishes."

Being so closed off about things involving sex, Lukas naturally wants to hide under a blanket forever. At this point, he doesn't even care if he's a virgin when he dies. "I'm not gonna eat the Danish."

"Yet."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!!

**Author's Note:**

> if u made it this far, i congratulate you even if i am kind of happy with this. i don't know all the figure skating and ballet terminology yet because i'm just learning to ice skate so im not knowledgeable about this topic haha
> 
> p.s. they're especially ooc in the flashback because they're younger and the events haven't really fully shaped their personalities yet so
> 
> this was all probably confusing as fuck im sorry and pleasr tell me about any mistakes i've made
> 
>  
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/salyadumi/playlist/1DzSTkSR6aKlHO47pm66OA)


End file.
